July 7
As I sit here and contemplate the number of options that lay before me I begin to experience a feeling of a vastness that seems infinite. there are so many choices and different directions in which we can go.
How do we choose what we choose? How different would our life be if we stopped and contemplated before we acted. If we just put some space between the thought and our reaction.
I am sitting in my beautiful apartment in Queens that I have lived in for close to 5 years. I have decided to move out and now so many decisions are coming up. What should I pack, what should I throw away, what will fit, what do I need,n etc.
I feel like each of these choices are life decisions, should I move from here, why am I deciding this, what am I expecting from this move? And the answer is “who knows!” When I act quickly and reactively I don’t give myself enough time to think and discern, I just do for the sake of doing, of being engaged of being useful to perform the task at hand and then my thinking becomes the task.
The point is that no matter how much thought I put into anything nothing really turns out the way I think it will which is not necessarily a bad thing, it is just the way it is. No matter how much thought we put into something we are always dealing with the unknown, but still I believe that it is helpful to stop and think become present rather than operate on auto pilot based on our past conditioning. To at least stop and listen what your body is telling you.
Today that will be my practice, pausing and listening, pausing and listening.
Margie Mazzone. Religion Especialist. Survivor